Yank tanks are out, but German ones are in. BMW's freshened flagship 760Li sedan defies its size with athletic moves.
During the 1960s, "Yank tanks" - - huge American cars that cast shadows the size of Sherman tanks - - were mocked by Europeans. Today, the tanks are Panzers.
German manufacturers dent asphalt with the most enormous cars around - - not only the three-ton Maybach, Rolls Royce Phantom and Bentley Arnage (all manufactured by German companies), but the Mercedes-Benz S-Class, Audi A8L and, our subject at hand, the long-wheelbase BMW 760Li sedan.
Aside from the three $300,000-plus superlimos and the 5,200-pound Volkswagen Phaeton, the 2006 760Li is the heaviest car on sale in the U.S. - - at 4,905 pounds, it weighs just over a half ton more than the biggest Japanese luxury car, the Lexus LS 430.
Yet, like a running back who can do the 100-yard sprint in nine seconds despite having a torso like a steamer trunk, the 760Li has the beans to accelerate to 60 mph in 5.8 seconds and run to a silent 120-mph Autobahn cruise in just a dozen exhilarating heartbeats more. Like all German cars, other than Porsches and the Mercedes McLaren supercoupe the 760Li is electronically limited to a top speed - - 150 mph in its case - - that doesn't require racecar-quality tires, even though its 438-hp engine could run substantially faster.
What's New
For 2006, most of the bodywork and lighting units forward of the windshield have been subtly changed to strengthen the car's aggressive, unmistakably BMW look, particularly with a larger double-kidney grille and less-cutesy accents over the headlights. It has become a mantra among car writers to mock the raised "Bangle butt" trunk lid (so christened for BMW stylist Chris Bangle), but less obsessed viewers will wonder what the fuss is about, particularly since the trunk lid and taillights have been reshaped for '06.
The trunk is of only moderate size for a car so huge, and if nothing else, its raised lid affords a bit more room. One nice feature is that it opens and closes electrically, so there's no need to get your hands dirty on the way to the board meeting.
The 760Li's comfort, safety and performance options range from standard Xenon headlights that turn with steering input to point around bends, to an optional DVD screen for rear passengers (see our BMW 760 gallery for an image). The list includes…well, everything you can imagine and some things you can't, like a little rear-seat chiller compartment big enough for a standard bottle of wine or a liter-sized soft drink (although a standard bottle of champagne won't fit).
Behind the Wheel
The 760Li will baffle drivers who have never experienced its complex iDrive electronics, but five minutes of instruction should at least get you rolling. Door and ignition locking/unlocking can be keyless, controlled by a fob that merely needs to be in your pocket, purse or briefcase. The engine starts and stops with the press of a button, and the electronic parking brake also only requires a button push - - there’s no conventional handle or lever. The 760 can be made to automatically set its parking brake every time it comes to a complete stop, whether briefly at a stoplight or at the conclusion of a drive.
The shifter is a small, awkward stalk on the steering column that has only three positions - - neutral, drive and reverse - - though all six of the automatic transmission's speeds can also be manually upshifted or downshifted by pressing buttons on the steering wheel. Unfortunately, the shifter and the wiper stalk look virtually identical, and several times I washed the windshield instead of backing up.
Whenever you do put the car into reverse, the electronic iDrive system displays a colorful park-assist screen, with areas behind and ahead of the car progressively turning green, yellow and red as you approach obstructions. This is particularly useful for a large car that will, frankly, be driven by people whose necks don't swivel 180 degrees as easily as they did when we were younger.
All four of the 760Li's spacious seats power adjust through a seemingly infinite number of angles and configurations and can be heated and ventilated, as well.
The infamous iDrive computer-cursor knob on the 760's center console provides menu-managed access to a huge number of the car's capabilities. With the '06 model, BMW has at least provided redundant, dedicated knobs and switches for the climate-control system and the radio/single-disc, in-dash CD player, and has simplified the screen display with four color-coded main menus. These tweaks come as a response to flak from customers and the media about how baffling the original iDrive system was and prove that some of us still live in the analog age.
There are times when the iDrive makes you want to pull a Russell Crowe - - rip it out and throw it against a wall - - but there are also times when, after a few days of fiddling, you realize, "Hey, this makes sense…."Try it, be patient and maybe you'll end up loving it. OK, maybe not.
Despite its bulk, "stately" and "sedate" are not words we'd use to describe the 760Li. This is a car that can quickly take intrepid drivers to cornering limits they wouldn't dare explore further unless on a racetrack. With a surfeit of power and torque from its 6.0-liter V12, it can be driven very aggressively - - if that's your choice. And the harder you push, the more firmly its suspension settles in. It's obvious this is a car engineered by people who'd rather be building Herculean M5 sport sedans and lithe Z4 roadsters, rather than limousines - - even if they do create an occasional tank.